Unblinking: The Oddity of the Gen Z Stare
Is it rude, a lack of etiquette, or something else?
If you’ve ever spent time with a Gen Z-er—in line at a coffee shop, at a family gathering, or even scrolling TikTok—you may have noticed it. I recently came across this trend, so I decided to investigate it. The “stare” is a steady, unmoved gaze: not bored, not aggressive, just… staring. Welcome to the phenomenon social media calls “the Gen Z Stare,” an almost uncanny expression of composure that’s quietly reshaping how we connect.It is hard not to take the stare personally. It feels like an indictment of something I said or my very existence as a “boomer.” But let’s take a look.
The Look That Launched a Thousand Memes
It started on TikTok. Users began posting reaction videos and memes about how young people today do not perform the usual nods, smiles, or polite affirmations we’ve come to expect in conversation. Instead, they simply look. Directly. Calmly. Sometimes for what feels like forever.
Older generations tend to find this unsettling—a momentary panic arises. What are they thinking? Are they judging me? Did I say something weird? The Gen Z Stare makes you question yourself in a way that a quick quip or an eye roll never could.
Where Did This Stare Come From?
This isn’t just awkwardness or introversion. The Gen Z Stare is, in part, a cultural artifact of growing up in the online world. For a generation raised on FaceTime and TikTok, the “reaction” is often a performance, crafted for an unseen audience. In real life, there’s no need to exaggerate or react for effect. Gen Z’s direct, steady gaze is both a rejection of performative communication and a declaration: “You have my attention. Impress me.”
Generational Differences
Older generations often interpret the Gen Z stare as lacking traditional etiquette, specifically the conversational cues such as smiles, nods, or verbal affirmations that signify politeness. However, what’s labeled as "impoliteness" may be a shift in the way this generation communicates: Gen Z tends to favor authenticity and presence over performative social graces, using direct eye contact and stillness as markers of engagement rather than a sign of disrespect.
Staring Down Social Norms
For many millennials and older generations, conversation is a kind of dance—smiles, nods, “oh wow!”—little tokens of encouragement. Gen Z, however, brings a different toolkit. They value authenticity, and for them, being unflappable and observant communicates something powerful. The stare isn’t rude; it’s neutral. In some ways, it’s radical non-engagement—an invitation to be real.
The Power of the Pause
Ironically, the Gen Z Stare has come to hold significant meaning for this generation in a world that is increasingly overwhelmed with noise. Where previous generations filled silences with small talk, Gen Z might leave them open, creating a space that demands honesty. The problem remains that not everyone wants to be transparent with total strangers, and so-called “small talk” is a form of connection that many Zoomers don’t understand. Or it seems many don’t want to understand. Their approach often comes across as “conform to my way,” or no way.
What Are They Really Thinking?
The next time you catch the Gen Z Stare, don’t squirm. Take it as an invitation. After all, maybe they’re not judging you. Perhaps they simply don’t know how to communicate in a way that resonates.
Numerous studies have found that Gen Z is often awkward in face-to-face communication. Maybe they need older generations to help guide the way. Perhaps there are ways to set aside the scripts and delve deeper to discover the source of their hurt and anger.
And if all else fails, you can always… stare back.
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